I am sure you are all familiar with the rollercoaster of hormones and emotions that go along with a typical pregnancy. Did you know that "paper pregnant" women go through the same sort of emotions? Yep, I can speak to that myself! I have been paper pregnant for about 21 months now. Talk about emotions! Lonnie and I thought that the process to start our family would be something like this: 1) fill out the application with Holt. 2) do all the paperwork required. 3) wait about 18 months. 4) go to China and pick up our little girl. Well, if you've been reading our blog or talking with us, you know that God had a different plan in mind.........we've been waiting for more information on His plan!
Have you ever read the book the Dream Giver? I read it almost 4 years ago--about the time Lonnie and I started dating. I remember God giving me the dream back then to one day adopt a child. Last week I decided to get the book back out to reread it, in case I had heard incorrectly about the dream God had given me. I am so glad that I dusted that book off. Lonnie & I were given lots of great reminders. The part of the book I can best relate to right now is what Bruce Wilkinson (the author) describes as "the wasteland". This is the time after a dream has been identified, after a person has stepped out of their comfort zone and said yes to that dream, to then the waiting time for that dream to come true. This is where I have been sitting for quite a while. During our time in the wasteland, I have questioned "God, did you really give me this dream to adopt, or did I make it up"? I questioned if God had forgotten about us and our dream. But then I was reminded of how the time in the wasteland is not a waste! God uses this time of waiting to increase our trust in him, to build our strength, and to do things in us that we don't even realize. So, as we sit and wait to one day meet who God wants to bring into our family, I thank Him for this wasteland! I also was reminded that Lonnie & I don't own this dream of building a family through adoption---it's His dream. So we are working on giving that dream back to God so He can do with it what He wants.
Have you ever read the book the Dream Giver? I read it almost 4 years ago--about the time Lonnie and I started dating. I remember God giving me the dream back then to one day adopt a child. Last week I decided to get the book back out to reread it, in case I had heard incorrectly about the dream God had given me. I am so glad that I dusted that book off. Lonnie & I were given lots of great reminders. The part of the book I can best relate to right now is what Bruce Wilkinson (the author) describes as "the wasteland". This is the time after a dream has been identified, after a person has stepped out of their comfort zone and said yes to that dream, to then the waiting time for that dream to come true. This is where I have been sitting for quite a while. During our time in the wasteland, I have questioned "God, did you really give me this dream to adopt, or did I make it up"? I questioned if God had forgotten about us and our dream. But then I was reminded of how the time in the wasteland is not a waste! God uses this time of waiting to increase our trust in him, to build our strength, and to do things in us that we don't even realize. So, as we sit and wait to one day meet who God wants to bring into our family, I thank Him for this wasteland! I also was reminded that Lonnie & I don't own this dream of building a family through adoption---it's His dream. So we are working on giving that dream back to God so He can do with it what He wants.
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