Dynamic Waiting

We recently received this quote about waiting from a friend:

Waiting is not inactivity; it is not resignation; it is a dynamic process….Sometimes I think that patience is one of the great characteristics that distinguishes God from man. God knows how to wait, dynamically; everybody else is in a hurry. Some things cannot be forced but they must unfold, sending their tendrils deep into the heart of life, gathering strength and power with the unfolding days. --Howard Thurman

One friend likened waiting to seeing a pond that from a distance looks completely still. But upon closer examination you can see that it's full of activity--tiny swirls and movements glaze the entire surface, yet as a whole it looks calm. God is active in the stillness arranging and re-arranging our lives.

We are helping out with a class at church called Alpha. During the opening night of the class a video was shown that we call the "Happy Yet?" video. It's about striving for life's milestones (graduation, new job, marriage, family, new marriage, retirement, etc.) thinking they will make us happy. They do for a little bit, but it never lasts. Then we're onto the next thing that will make us happy and on and on we go.

At the end of the day, completely spent, we realize that the kind of fulfillment we're looking for comes only from God. When we're in that place, the waiting feels more like growing.

Content in every situation.....

Several of you have told me lately "there's nothing new on your blog." I thought I better get something posted......

As far as progress with adoption news, there has been no progress. China continues to move very, very slow, with an anticipated 3 more years to wait for a healthy infant. No word from Bethany Christian Services either. We know that our information is being shown regularly to expecting moms, but we have not been "picked" yet. According to God, the timing is not right yet. So we continue to wait.......

The waiting we did in August and the first part of September was very, very hard for me. I continued to have so many questions---like "What did we do wrong; why won't God bless us with a child?". The last couple of weeks I have become more content again, realizing that His timing is perfect---better than I could ever imagine. We also realized that our focus was totally backwards. We had started to put all our thoughts and energy on getting a child, placing God in the backseat. He politely reminded us that He wants us to put Him first, above all else. So we have done a paradigm shift, putting him first again; not because we have to but because we want to. I have definitely realized that "it's not all about me."

So on one hand nothing has been  happening on the adoption front, but on the other hand a lot has been happening. God continues to soften and shape our hearts, drawing us into a closer relationship with Him. As we wait we will continue to praise him, regardless of the circumstances.

The Wasteland

I am sure you are all familiar with the rollercoaster of hormones and emotions that go along with a typical pregnancy. Did you know that "paper pregnant" women go through the same sort of emotions? Yep, I can speak to that myself! I have been paper pregnant for about 21 months now. Talk about emotions! Lonnie and I thought that the process to start our family would be something like this: 1) fill out the application with Holt. 2) do all the paperwork required. 3) wait about 18 months. 4) go to China and pick up our little girl. Well, if you've been reading our blog or talking with us, you know that God had a different plan in mind.........we've been waiting for more information on His plan!

Have you ever read the book the Dream Giver? I read it almost 4 years ago--about the time Lonnie and I started dating. I remember God giving me the dream back then to one day adopt a child. Last week I decided to get the book back out to reread it, in case I had heard incorrectly about the dream God had given me. I am so glad that I dusted that book off. Lonnie & I were given lots of great reminders. The part of the book I can best relate to right now is what Bruce Wilkinson (the author) describes as "the wasteland". This is the time after a dream has been identified, after a person has stepped out of their comfort zone and said yes to that dream, to then the waiting time for that dream to come true. This is where I have been sitting for quite a while. During our time in the wasteland, I have questioned "God, did you really give me this dream to adopt, or did I make it up"? I questioned if God had forgotten about us and our dream. But then I was reminded of how the time in the wasteland is not a waste! God uses this time of waiting to increase our trust in him, to build our strength, and to do things in us that we don't even realize. So, as we sit and wait to one day meet who God wants to bring into our family, I thank Him for this wasteland! I also was reminded that Lonnie & I don't own this dream of building a family through adoption---it's His dream. So we are working on giving that dream back to God so He can do with it what He wants.

2008 Olympics

Hi All. It's Nancy here. My dear husband is in the process of teaching me how to blog, so I thought I'd better try it out!

The 2008 summer Olympics are in Beijing, China, so there have been all sorts of news stories about China over the last couple of weeks. While watching the news stories and the Olympics, it makes me think about being in China one day to meet the child God has hand picked for us!

The news stories have talked a lot about how well the Chinese economy is currently doing. Young people there appear to be enjoying their new wealth, moving out of the country side to the cities. However it makes wonder about what their hearts feel like. Gaining material wealth is not what satisfies the heart. I pray that Christianity will continue to spread throughout China so the people of China are full of eternal riches.

One story Lonnie & I watched last week talked about how there is such a high suicide rate for the women in China. Women who live in the country side are forced to do hard labor. They do farm work because they have no education.  They feel pressure to have baby boys (as boys can help out with the farm work better than girls); when they give birth to a baby girl, they begrudgingly place her for adoption. Women working in the cities work seven days a week. We heard of one woman who worked in a factory in China where she was not allowed to speak at all over the 12 hour shifts she worked. Women feel lonely and disrespected.

My heart aches for all the women in China---the moms who are forced to place their baby girls on the roadside, hoping someone will come by and take her baby to a local orphanage---the young women who recently moved from the country to the city to "take in the city life" until they realize how lonely it is there too.

A couple from our church has been to China on a mission trip. They saw people there being touched by Christ. He's up to something there! I pray for all those mothers, orphans, orphanage workers, foster parents........that their hearts would be filled with His love and joy. I pray that the child(ren) that God has picked for us would feel His love and joy until we meet.

Below is some information that Holt (our international adoption agency) recently emailed out about the Olympics:

All eyes are on China for the start of the upcoming 2008 Olympic Games.   This year's Olympic theme is, "One World One Dream."    There will be more than ten thousand athletes competing in the games, representing more than two-hundred nations.  

For the first time, the 2008 Olympic medals incorporate the use of jade.   The obverse side of the medals represent the Greek goddess of victory, Nike, while the reverse side of the medals are inlaid with jade with the Beijing Games emblem engraved in the metal centerpiece.

Each of the five Olympic mascots, called Fuwa, have a special meaning and represent one color of the Olympic rings.  

• Beibei, the fish, represents the blessing of prosperity    
• Jingjing, the panda, represents the blessing of happiness  
• Huanhuan, the Olympic flame, represents the blessing of passion  
• Yingying, the Tibetan antelope, represents the blessing of health  
• Nini, the swallow, represents the blessing of good luck  

For those of us not able to attend the games in person, the opening ceremony will be televised on August 8, 2008, or (08/08/2008).   The number eight is considered a lucky number in Chinese culture and is highly sought after in license plate numbers, phone numbers and street addresses.   The closing ceremony will conclude the games on August 24, 2008.  

The official website for the 2008 Olympic games is:   http://en.beijing2008.cn/

Twist of Lime

Since this is our adoption blog, it seems only appropriate to talk about where adoption began. It began when God adopted us.

Adoption is right out of the bible:
So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, “Abba, Father.” For his Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God’s children.

At the beginning of this journey, we were very excited by what we believed God was calling us into. Over the course of time however, the wait has been a numbing, grinding experience. Not only have we doubted the course(s) we've taken, but at times have given up hope.

Through it all, we are reminded that God adopts us not because we are perfect or because we've earned it or because we're spiritual enough or because we stayed faithful when things were looking impossible, but just because. In Greek it's called Agape (a-Gop-ay). It's what we would call unconditional love. We are simply chosen. If this doesn't kill the myth that love is a feeling, then nothing will. Love is an act of will, it's intentional, it's a choice.

Over the past month or so it seems like everywhere we turn we are hearing something about faith--maybe because we needed it. At church, in the devos we read daily, through friends, etc. faith, faith, faith. Nancy took the week off last week thanks to some comp time and painted a "kids room".

Painting the room was an act of faith unto itself. I mean come on, we have a green and purple room in our house. Lime and grape. It's turned into an act of defiance toward anything that might pull our hearts away from this mission.

At the end of the day, what God is doing in us while we wait is as important as what we're waiting for and we wouldn't trade it for anything.

We're not sure what kid will occupy the lime and grape room; boy or girl, infant or toddler, blonde or black hair, but they will know they have been adopted--chosen.

And we are looking forward to it.